Hunt at the Zoo
That's right!
You can now hunt at the zoo.
Budgetary constraints and attendance shortfalls
have put us in the red.
Our loss is your gain!
Here's How it Works
For a nominal entrance fee of $500,
you will be given a high-powered shotgun
and three rounds of ammunition
and a one-hour time limit for hunting.
Two burly zoo keepers will accompany you
in a golf cart to load up your bounty.
If you bag a big one,
a radio-dispatched van or truck will
arrive in minutes to whisk the carcass away.
But That's Not All!
After your hunt,
you will be permitted to assist in
the beheading and mounting of your trophy.
World-class chefs will slaughter the remains
and then....
Barbeque Zoo!
That's right! You will eat your zoo animal(s).
You and your friends will surround the crispy flesh
of your critter.
Bon apetit!
Our Guarantee
In the unlikely event that you do not kill an animal,
do not worry -- you will get a trophy and a cookout!
In a cooperative venture with the local animal humane society,
a freshly euthenized animal (cat or dog) will be suplied
to you at no extra charge.
(For your information, both taste a little like chicken.)
Our Motto
Don't have a cow, have a lion!
Disclaimer
We regret that prevailing laws prohibit us from allowing you
to eat any fellow hunters or zoo keepers,
even if they are completely dead!